i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
