Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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