why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
