susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
