I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
