Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
