Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
