I heard we made out
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
