Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
