so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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