The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
