The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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