I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
