i was rollin on her like bob the builder
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
