Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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