He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
