Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
