Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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