sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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