..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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