But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
