marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize