She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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