No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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