When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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