a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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