I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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