they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
