Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
