I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
