But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
