Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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