Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
