Sponge bath it is.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
