He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
