i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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