I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
