I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
