i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
