so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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