is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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