Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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