bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
