I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
