saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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