just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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