my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
In America we eat man semen.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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