I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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