why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
