I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
