so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
