Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
