There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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