So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
