Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
