The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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