Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Come see our sink grown plant.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
