It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
