Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
