Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
