So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
